Slacker

I know, I know - I have been a MAJOR blogging slacker lately. I think reality is hitting me... and it's hitting hard. Work life and home life has been insane the last couple of weeks, and I am really starting to face reality that this new baby will be here in a just a few more weeks! I am not even close to being ready. I think I have spent so much time in denial that this all was really happening that the thought of organizing and preparing, even mentally, let alone physically has been the furthest thing from my mind.

The other day though, I was in line at Walmart - had to dash there during my lunch - and in front of me was a new mom with a new little baby girl. I saw that sweet baby kicking and cooing, and literally for the first time in this pregnancy I thought "Oooh! I'm going to have a cute new little baby!" instead of "I don't know what I'm going to do with this new little baby!"

I feel so much guilt for feeling this way. In no way do I want this new baby to feel like she isn't wanted or loved - that's not it. I'm just having a hard time reconciling my feelings this time with how I felt just a year or so ago. With Lily we prayed, hoped, watched and waited with such anticipation - I feel so bad that this pregnancy hasn't even come close to being that way! It's been like a looming abstract date, so far in the future that I didn't have to really worry about it. Now it's time to worry about it! Good grief, we don't even have a name yet!

I know I shouldn't compare the two - life is different now than it was when we were waiting for Lily to arrive. Maybe that's part of my hesitation. I'm so content with my little family. The thought of it changing, evolving into something else is a little scary! I try not to be sad for Lily - her little world is going to be turned upside down - I don't want her to resent her sister (or her parents). My sister told me though to keep in mind that I'll be bringing home her best friend, she just may not know it yet. I need to embrace the changes that are coming. I know they are for a reason. I know this is all part of Heavenly Father's plan for me and for our family. I know these things in my heart, however telling my brain these things seems to be the challenge!

So, I've been staring at the calendar for a couple of days now, wondering how on earth I'm going to fit in everything that needs to be done. I think I have talked my sister into coming down this weekend to help me get organized and settled for n.b. (new baby - her pseudoname), and having her here will really really help. I feel like the clock is ticking louder and louder, faster and faster, and there is just so much to do!

So, there you have it - a glimpse into my brain lately... well, part of my brain - it's pretty much consumed with tons of other stuff too, and I am keeping a list to blog about - when I can find a minute!

In my opinion...

In my opinion, the absolute sweetest Olympic moments have been seeing the parents' reactions to their childrens' successes. How many times did they replay Michael Phelp's mom dropping to her seat in shock when he won one of his golds? So sweet.

But my favorite Olympic moment happened last night. When super cute Shawn Johnson finally won her gold medal, and the cameras turned to her mom. She could not stop the tears, and when her husband embraced her, the two of them just wept together. It truly brought tears to my own eyes. I thought of the sacrifices they and their family had made, all the hard work, disappointment, courage and faith they each must have had. To me, it was the sweetest moment of the games.

She looks innocent enough...

Last night this is where I found Lily. I thought it was so cute that she had climbed into the toy basket and whipped out my (ancient) camera phone to take a picture. I couldn't get her to smile, and only when I got closer to try to tickle her did I realize the awful truth - she was sitting in POO! Somehow her diaper leaked and EVERYTHING in that basket (look again at how much stuff was in there) was covered in POO!

Gross....

Fun Pictures

Here are some fun pictures from our reunion that I had to share. Thanks Mary!

Curfew

I am sooooooooo sleepy!!!! The culprit?


I seriously can't stop watching them! I don't get the chance to see anything until after Lily's in bed at 8:30 or 9:00, and that's when all the good stuff starts! I am seriously going to have to impose a curfew. That or dust off the Tivo and just record them. This is out of control, and there are like 2 more weeks left! I must get some sleep!

(How about that Michael Phelps though - AMAZING!!! And actually, I even like the commercials too! GO USA!)

I don't believe it!!!!

I don't believe it!!! Look what came in the mail!


Seuao finally got his green card!!! This has been in the works since we got married, and finally finally finally we're done!!! Well, maybe.....

If you look close, you'll see on his card that his "Country of Birth" is "Unknown" WHAT??? I know for a fact that on every form I filled out, I put Western Samoa as his country of birth. Not only that, I have sent in copies of his birth certificate on numerous occasions. Why is this "unknown"??? So, I called immigration yesterday. After reading me her 20 minute spiel about making an appointment with the local office to get a temporary card while I return this card, filling out more forms, possibly paying a fee to have it fixed (only if you can absolutely prove it's not your fault), and waiting the 3-6 months processing time, I ask is it worth it??? The card is in our hands. I only wonder if it would make a difference down the road (in another 5 years) when Seuao applies for citizenship.

Let me tell you - the process to get a permanent green card is out of control! The web of paperwork and plethora of fees that go into this is truly unbelievable. It really is no mystery to me why there are so many illegal immigrants here. It is absolutely incomprehensible to figure out how to do this! Thank heavens I have friends who have been through it and could hold my hand!

I guess the bottom line is that we're as done as we want to be with it right now! Our applications were approved, and hopefully the days of having to justify our marriage are over! YAHOO!!!!!!!!

Bearings & Brakes

I've come to a conclusion. Men, please don't ask your (pregnant, hot, tired and achy) wives to go to an auto-parts store for you when you're not sure what part you need!!!!

Let me explain... About a year ago we sent a car to Samoa for Seuao's family. This car has been great for them - it has really helped them out a lot, and I truly was grateful we had the opportunity and the means to do it. However, thinking that once the car was sent I wouldn't have to deal with it anymore was my first mistake. Now, when anything wears out, needs replacing or upkeep, guess who gets the phone call? Yup. Well, it just so happens that Seuao's auntie is leaving for Samoa this weekend and Seuao wants to send a few parts with her.

"Rach, after work and after you pick up Lily, can you stop at Auto Zone and get me some bearings and breaks for the car?"

"Honey, I really don't know what I'm asking for. Will they know EXACTLY what I mean when I ask them for bearings and breaks?"

"Yes, yes - I've already been there, and they'll know what you're talking about."

Now, I know what you're thinking - why is Wow asking the mega-overreactive wife to deal MORE with cars when she really doesn't want to? He was working until 9:00 yesterday, today and tomorrow, and really didn't have time to do it. (However, I do wonder why this couldn't have been taken care of on his day off... nevertheless...)

Lily and I trot into Auto Zone last night.

"Hi, I need bearing and breaks for a 2000 Suzuki Grand Vitara"

"Ok, let's start with breaks. Do you need break pads, break shoes, brake drums, brake kits, blah blah blah???"

"Ummm.... What's the cheapest thing?"

"How about brake shoes?"

"Works for me!"

"Now, you need bearings? What kind of bearings?"

"I don't know, just bearings? My husband swore you would know what that would be!"

"Well ma'am, there are a million different bearings on any given vehicle - since you asked about brakes, maybe you need a wheel bearing?"

"I guess so...."

"That'll be a zillion dollars, and we'll have to special order it for you."

"Hmmm - let me try to call my husband"

So, I pry the cell phone away from Lily (who is calling random people, so if you ever get a strange call from me, just understand it's my last resort to keep my child from destroying property that's not ours, but I digress...) and try to call my husband. Unfortunately they have changed all of his work numbers (this I knew), but he thought one certain number would still work. Nope. Lily is frantically looking for things to pull off shelves, and luckily Seuao calls me back.

"Rach, did you get the stuff?"

"Honey, I'm in Auto Zone right now, and they don't know what I'm talking about!!!"

"Just tell them you need the bearings and the brakes!"

"I did!!! There are so many different things, and I have no idea what you need!"

"Just ask them how late they're open, and I'll do it."

To the friendly parts guy, "How late are you guys open?"

"Until 11:00 p.m."

Me, shocked and a little bit grateful I live in the hood - where else would an auto parts store be open until 11:00 p.m. unless there were broken down cars in everyone's driveway that people only work on after dark with their shop lamps? Ok, so it's not quite that bad right where I live, but we do border on the ghetto, I'll admit it... "He said they're open until 11:00 p.m."

"Ok, I'll stop by there after work."

So, I think this is resolved and out of my hands... Oh no. He tells me when we're home last night, that Auto Zone knew exactly what he was talking about, and it wasn't a zillion dollars but they do have to special order it, so could I PLEASE go to Checker tomorrow to see if they have it.

"But honey, I don't know what I'm asking for!!!!"

"Rach, just ask for the bearings and the breaks!!!"

"That's what I did!!! They seriously don't understand me, or I have no idea what I really need!!!"

"Rach, just trust me, they'll know. Please do this for me?"

So, this afternoon, in an attempt to save myself from heat-stroke at 5:30 and another Lily destruction zone, I figure I'll just call Checker to see what they have. I didn't think another poor auto parts guy really needed to see my frustrated face to look up a part online! To my great surprise (NOT) the conversation was very familiar. Again, they have no idea what I'm talking about, and again anything that resembles anything that I think I'm asking for is a zillion (plus 1) dollars and has to be special ordered.

I am putting my foot down! NO MORE AUTO PARTS STORES FOR THIS GAL! I am officially done.

(Thanks for letting me vent!)

Easter's Baby Shower

Tonight Lily and I went to Seuao's cousin Easter's baby shower. She is expecting a baby boy the week after our new baby gets here. It was good to see his family that I haven't seen in a while. Lily didn't waste any time getting reacquainted!

And she certainly wasn't too shy to beg food from strangers:

Seuao even made an appearance when he heard there was food there! It was a fun night.

Happy (late) Birthday Mom!!!!

Wow - do I ever feel like a slacker! My mom's birthday was on Sunday, and I meant to do a post about her, and totally spaced it until this morning! I'm so sorry Mom!!! With everything that has been going on, her birthday kind of got the shaft this year. After Bear Lake on Saturday, we all got together at the house in Logan for presents for Mom, Sarah and Granny. I don't think anyone blew out candles - I don't think Mom even got an official birthday cake (although she did get a pan of yummy Old Grist Mill birthday brownies!) I don't know if anyone even took any pictures! My dad was still out of town in California helping with his brother's funeral arrangements, so this just wasn't my mom's banner birthday unfortunately. I'm sorry Mom!

I just adore this picture of my mom. I couldn't tell you how old it is - a good 10 years probably. It is an absolutely perfect depiction of my mom's nature (and my dad's too for that matter!) She LOVES surprises, adores attention and doesn't let any emotion get buried! There are so many things I love about her.

My mom didn't get to finish her college education once she started having kids, but never let that stand in her way of her goal of one day proving herself to be "as smart as my Dad." When Sarah started kindergarten, my mom went back to school. She had to start from square one - and she graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Social Work the same year I graduated from high school. Amazing! But that wasn't enough for her! She was determined to get not only her Master's Degree, but her PhD. She convinced the powers-that-be at Utah State to let her write her own doctoral degree program in Research and Evaluation. She planned out what classes would need to be completed, what her dissertation would be on, and how she would do it. And she certainly did not take the easy way! It took a little while, with a few breaks here and there (not to mention a lot of prayers from everyone), but she did it! She graduated in 2006 from Utah State University with her PhD.

Growing up, my mom was very self assured and confident. She was the captain of the debate team, part of the Hostess Royalty (like our Homecoming Royalty), did something for the boys swim team (don't ask me how she got that gig), was incredibly smart yet didn't let anyone (not even the teachers) push her around. One of her favorite stories is how she and her friends picked up - literally - the principal's car, parked it inside the school's front lobby, and posted a sign outside changing the name of Miami High School to "Knolls Animal Farm" (Mr. Knolls was the principal she had a few run-ins with)!

When she graduated from High School, she went to BYU, where she met my dad her first year. She was a Sunday School teacher, and he was in her class. They were engaged by Valentines, and married that following June. Looking back, she definitely sees the Lord's hand in her life. Her life certainly isn't what she had planned as a teenager - she wanted to be a marine biologist, wasn't planning on kids, and certainly never saw herself with 6 of them by the time she was 28 years old!

My poor mom has had her share of health problems. Nearly everything that can go wrong with a body has gone wrong for her! There have been more than a few holidays spent visiting Mom in the hospital! Truly, against most odds, the Lord has kept her around for a reason though!

She recently was called as the Relief Society President after her ward boundaries changed, and she and my dad ended up in a new ward. It has been an adjustment, at least for me, getting used to visiting this ward full of strangers when I go to church with my folks when we're in Logan. I miss all the familiar faces we used to see (although I don't miss the teeny super-squishy benches in the old building). However, I know this is where they are needed. For so many years, my mom stood in the shadows (a place she's not super comfortable in) while my Dad was the Stake President. She was so supportive, and had huge burdens placed on her raising us kids during our teenage years while my dad was in church meetings. Now the tables have turned. My mom is front and center, and my dad is the self-proclaimed "pack-horse" hauling my mom's stuff around. I love to see the two of them support each other like this. I especially love seeing the opportunity my mom has to share her love and her talents with so many people now.

I know this is kind of a random, history-filled blog entry. Those of you who know my mom, know that she and I are very very different. She loves the spotlight - I HATE attention; she craves social gatherings - I really could do without them; she is so artistic and creative - I can follow a pattern, but creativity is not something I inherited; she usually has something to say - most of the time I prefer listening. However, there are a few things that about myself that I can attribute directly to my mom:

• Her compassionate heart - I find it easy to empathize with people, and I know that's from her.
• Her love of family - I love being part of anything my family is doing (and that's saying a lot coming off of a VERY family-filled summer!)
• Her thirst for knowledge - I only have a smidgen of this in me compared to her, but my brain's desires to know more and more come from her.
• Her work ethic and strength - Now I know I'm not as strong as my mom is (she took a dent out of a car by herself!), but I'm pretty tough and I see the job through, just like she does.
• Her love of Diet Coke - Unfortunately she's off the juice now, but I make up for her - that is, when I'm NOT pregnant!
• Her love of all things "brown" - Yes - unfortunately I inherited this from her as well - we both LOVE our chocolate!
• Her mechanical mind - This seems kind of weird, but she and I can put things together. This mostly gets put to the test with some sort of cheap Wal-Mart furniture or something like that, but we know how to read directions and come out with the finished product! (Trust me, there are those in our family - who shall remain nameless - who DON'T have this gift!)
• Her testimony - My mom never passed up the opportunity to share her testimony. When we were kids we all shrunk in our seats when she would stand at the pulpit in church (she knew how to embarrass us, and usually did!) However, I have never once doubted where she stood on her beliefs and faith. Both she and my dad have unequivocally spoken and LIVED their testimonies of Jesus Christ. For this I am forever grateful, and hope that I can be that kind of mom and example to my children as well.

Happy (late) birthday, Mom. I love you!

Bear Lake '08

Last weekend we had the chance to recover from our "vacation" and go to Bear Lake. Dave and Lex arranged the whole thing, and we used Lexy's grandparent's cabin right on the south-east shore as our home-base.

Dad rented a boat for us (and couldn't even be there to enjoy it), and Seuao spent most of the day out on the water. The idea of a bumpy boat ride just wasn't that appealing to me, so I was perfectly fine sitting on the beach with my feet in the water. Seuao, however tested out the water weenie for the first time. I think this picture says it all!

Everyone who was on the boat told me how much he was loving it. They were saying he was like a little kid, bouncing everyone around and thoroughly enjoying every minute out there!

Lily did make it on the boat once, and I couldn't watch - I (of course) thought they were going way too fast, but again, I was told she was just loving it. Who knew my little Samoans would be so brave!

Here are a few pictures from the day:

Auntie Sarah warming the kids up for a day of fun on the beach!

Lily before she started eating and "exfoliating" with the sand!

After...

Having fun in the water (and an attempt to keep her in one place for a couple of minutes)! This girl was fearless and EVERYWHERE!

A lovely family portrait (I don't know what is possessing me to be so brave as to post this picture, other than the mere fact to prove that I was there!)

Uncle Richard

Today I'm sad. Two night ago, my dad was staying at our house, and my Aunt Kathleen from California called for him late at night. I felt bad for waking Dad up to talk to her, but she insisted. Yesterday afternoon my mom called to tell me that Dad's only brother, Richard had passed away the day before. Dad was already in California to help with the arrangements, and didn't want us to worry about anything. I was stunned.

My Uncle Richard was only a couple of years older than my dad. He had a troubled life. He struggled in so many ways, but I know he so respected and cared for my dad. He lived with Grandmother and although many didn't understand their relationship, they were good company for each other and did take care of one another.

Grandmother will be fine. Like I said before, this woman is tough as nails. She will miss him greatly, but at the same time, I feel like there is a sense of peace. His soul can now rest. Who knows what will happen with Grandmother now. In a way it feels like, even at 88, a whole new world has been opened up to her. I sincerely pray she'll finally get to experience life on her terms.

The one I really am sad for today is my Dad. My dad is the rock in his family. Everyone relies on him to be reasonable, calm, make the decisions, and get things done. And, he's good at it. However, I do know what it's like to lose a brother. They didn't have a real close relationship in recent years, but I know he would have childhood memories with him. I saw the packages he sent to my dad each Christmas filled with CD's, movies and other "blast-from-the-past" items he picked out especially for him. I know Richard truly respected and loved my Dad. And I know that my Dad must be feeling that loss. I wish I could help. I feel bad that we aren't going out to California for the funeral. If there is one thing my family is good at, it's supporting each other. I don't think necessarily Grandmother wants or needs us all there, but I feel like I'm letting my dad down, leaving him to deal with everything alone. I guess all I can do is pray pray pray. That, and be here for him when he returns.

I wish I had known Uncle Richard better. I know he didn't think he left much of a mark on this world, but he did leave one on my heart. He will be missed.